Dag-nab-it!

Darn, I'm sore. Late last week I joined a gym and finally worked out there yesterday at lunch. I ran a couple of miles, did three different shoulder exercises, curls, and worked my upper back. Ouch! Monkey farts! I didn't think I would be sore today, but I feel like an old man. I want to snarl at stairs, yet all I do is grunt a little when I've had to climb them today. I thought I might go to the gym again at noon today, but it didn't happen. Instead, I ate too much Mexican food. Tomorrow, however, I will go back to the gym whether I'm sore or not. Running again probably would have been a good idea to work some of the stiffness out of my legs, but screw it. I know I'll go tomorrow. And once my body gets used to exercising again, I think I'll go everyday except on Fridays. On Fridays I'd much rather spend my lunch in a bar tossing down a few so that I can have a little buzz while at the office in the afternoon. And believe it or not, the office is okay with that. :)

Speaking of drinking, I've cut back a lot in the last few months, but I usually do drink every evening. I know that doesn't sound like I'm cutting back. Just bear with me. This is exactly what I do on a normal day after work: take the dog out, play some, then feed her; while she's eating, I make myself a drink, park my ass on the couch, grab the nearest book and read for a while until my dog whines and bothers me. This can take an hour and a half, and in that time I will have only had a few sips. So, my drinking has really improved compared to what it used to be. I used to drink nonstop from six o'clock in the evening until midnight everyday.
Now what in the world does discussing this have anything to do with anything? Well, I'm just organizing my thoughts and giving a bit of background information to ask: Why do I drink so often? I've come to . . . well . . . it's time to go home . . . More later!

It's later now. I've come to the conclusion that I drink for two reasons: (1) I enjoy it and (2) I can. Sounds terribly banal, doesn't it, as if I'm throwing my middle finger to the seriousness of the question. Yet there are reasons why I enjoy it. I enjoy alcohol, obviously, because it relaxes me, slows the ole' noodle down (my brain, not the other noodle) and allows me to focus after being pulled in five different directions at work all day long. It helps me get to sleep, and I don't need much alcohol in order to get that help; just a couple of small glasses of cognac will do the trick. (If any of you have never tried Navan, I highly suggest it. It is a vanilla cognac that has the most wonderful flavor. If you have trouble finding it, then ask the liquor store to order it. If the manager hasn't heard of it, let him or her know that it's made by Grand Marnier.) Have I tried sleeping pills? Yes, I have. Do they knock me out? Yes, and I don't like that much. Is it difficult to get up the next morning? You bet your ass, and I feel groggy for most of the morning. A couple drinks don't leave me feeling that way in the morning, and they don't knock me out in the evening either.

And, yes, I can drink. Sooner or later, however, it will have to slow to an almost complete halt, such as when (or if) I have kids. I hope I have them, but ya' never know. I might never be in a position to--as in I might not be in a healthy enough relationship to feel confident, as a couple, to raise emotionally healthy human beings. Can I still drink if I have children? Well, yeah--but I don't think it's a great idea to have a couple every night. If there's an emergency, is it a good idea to have any alcohol in my system? Not in my opinion. So, at this point in my life, I can drink--with as few repurcussions as possible. And I enjoy that for now.

One hour until I'm at the gym, a gerbil on a wheel . . . and I'll like it, dammit!!